There are two lessons in this post that may help you in a big way.
So, I’ve been told that I’m, well… kinda brutal when it comes to telling the truth. I get that, and you know what? Sometimes I hear this little voice inside that says, “Mimi, that’s going to hurt someone.” Then I start to feel kinda weird, but after reading the book Speaking The Truth In Love, I feel so much more at ease when communicating better in order to do what I love… Thats helping people. I LOVE helping people and to help people sometimes we have to bring them to their current reality, especially if they have expressed to you that they are not happy.
I get told the truth all of the time. Does it hurt? Sometimes, ok yes it does hurt!! It was like the time I asked my client why was I having to live off my savings after building my business for so long – when the market crashed. He told me that I was trading time for money in an intense manner like broke people do. I thought to myself… What in the hell does that mean? I was kind of hurt because the way I made money was the only way I knew how… Go to work, do my time and go home.
Then he explained the reason why I was going broke. Guess what? His truth changed my life forever!! For things to change, all of us are going to have to CHANGE SOME THINGS. It’s the truth isn’t it?
Ok here’s the other lesson combined with speaking your truth:
When Mark and I started dating, he secretly smoked a pack of cigarettes a day.
I’d ask him if he’d been smoking? He’d never say no but just that people around him smoke.
Then I caught him red handed one morning when we were on the Glide app. He got comfortable and forgot LOL. It was funny, I mean real funny!
I was MAD… I use to say to him:
- Don’t smoke!!
- Don’t you know it stinks?
- You’re at risk of cancer, don’t you know that?
- Why are don’t you just quit already?
Although Mark knew I was telling the truth, he knew he needed to stop and didn’t want to hear it.
One day a friend and I were out to lunch when her daughter called and asked for relationship advice. She advised her to focus on telling her husband things that she love most about him and she believed he could crush a bad habit. I decided to take that advice and use it myself. So instead of telling Mark how much I hated him smoking, I told him how much I loved how mentally strong he is, and how I love the fact that he can drop a bad habit like a hot cake. Just like the time he stopped drinking EXTRA and I do mean EXTRA sweet tea… it was a bad habit of his.
After using the positive route, a few weeks later he stopped smoking cold turkey and now its been almost a year. Do you see what I changed? Hey, I’m not saying that I’m the reason he stopped smoking. What I am saying is that it was one of the reasons. Ok I’m saying after 1st wanting to be healthy, my speaking positively was a big reason because he told me himself… hehehe!
So the moral of this blog post is to encourage you to speak life into people and speak the truth even if your voice shakes. If my client hadn’t I would probably be a very unhappy person today.
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All the best,